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December, 2008 Run, Chasing Cars - Snow PatrolIf I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  Snow Patrol, same as The Clarks, were founded in university and started by performing gigs at the university and surrounding pubs. Just reviewed their biography and it reminded me of another famous Chinese band Beyond: In music career, talents and potentials are never scarce resource but good luck and timing. Allow me to say, talent is never the only factor to determine a person's success but continuous effort. Indeed, how many people got talents but failed eventually by giving up? What is talent and how important it is??? We're virtually the same creature, but it’s our attempt to be different makes us so unique, and it's our endless attempt against all failures turn us to be a successful person in the end. This could be further from Qibaishi' experience: Qibaishi, a remarkable and unsurpassable printer in drawing shrimp, have been printing for all his life but his drawing talent were only acknowledged by the public in the last few years of his life.
Alright, back to music. My favorite Snow Patrol songs are “Run” and “Chasing Cars”. I love how Gary Lightbody, the leading vocalist, does to these 2 songs and I love the lyrics and the music. The lyrics are pretty neat and the music just gorgeous. You’ll find yourself almost melt in the music and you probably will cry if you understand what the lyrics are talking about. I have to say these 2 songs are the most frequently played songs of alternative music on my computer. Actually, the other songs like “ All we are”, “You’re all I have”, “Open your eyes” and “Signal Fire” are also not bad tough. Try~~~~~~ Run I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done
And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere Anyway from here
Chasing Cars We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? (Can you actually find somebody connected to your heart and willing to take the venture with you?) (Gary Lightbody, a lot of girls are madly in love with this vocalist, haha. Looks so cool on the stage
June, 2008 Unexpected visitor on my faceI woke up in a morning and found I have some rash on my face right under my left eye. The rash is king of new thing to me. It looks in red color around the white centre and it's a bit aching when I press it with some strength. However, my incorrigible optimism has convinced me that I'll be alright, an in hence, I didn't take the rash as a very big deal and ultimately lead to delay of treatment.
2 days later on June 14th (Saturday), I decided to go to see the doctor went to Zhongshan Hospital with Joey and Wendy's company. Before I join in the long queue to register, I went to the service counter but told by the nurse that the dermatology department only functions in the morning. Then 3 of us walked in the pouring rain and went to another hospital, disappointingly, the dermatology department is out of the service hour.
Then we went to "Gu Yu Gai Gu", a chain restaurant serve delicious bone soup for hot pot. I didn't have good appetite and I started worry about the rash. We mainly talked about relationship and job hunting at that time. Wendy has a desire to get a new job in trading business and Joey has resigned from DHL and got several new offers. My plan is to quit my job at the end of this year and go to another city for my 2nd job.
The next morning on June 15th, I went to the Provincial People's Hospital and make a reservation for a dermatologist at 3PM. Without much ado, the doctor saw the rash and diagnosis that I got an infection by a microorganism due to poor immunity of my body. Then he prescribed some medicine to me and I felt very low due to his remark: This rash would stay in your body for a considerable period of time and it has a high recurrence rate. You should eat good food and rest more to make sure it won't recur on your face. What can I say???!!! I'll exercise more and keep a good diet. Now I try to care less to make myself less guilty of choosing a d-a-m-n busy job, which is the root of all endless painful OT and terrible rash... I hate it.
When I turned my head and look around I was in a crowd of familiar faces I am injured and cried for help Almost all came up and offer your hands I appreciate that and I'm grateful to have you here, my friends Meanwhile, I can't hold my disappointment to several people Giving to some of the their cold reaction and and response, I learnt what selfish is I won’t say it to your face, but you absolutely don't deserve my friendship! May, 2008 Unexpected Disaster on May 12th, 2008Openning up every website, all that I see is the pictures filled with pain, sorrow, desperation and fear...The death record got refreshed every seconds,it's hard to believe so many people got killed within such a short time. Families were destroyed, lovers were seperated, young lives were taken away...This is another historic moment to be remembered with regret and anger.
Many of us have been asked by a question like this: If tomorrow is the last day of your life, what would you do? Actually, not so many of us knows the answer. Life, was gifted the day when we born in this planet and was taken for granted that it'll last till the last day of our life. When would be our last day? Isn't that too early and funny to talk about it? Well, it depends...
All of this came too fast for us to take: Why this disaster wasn't been detected? The existing technology is able to help us to get a better life but unfortunately it was not advanced enough to forecast the natural disater.
There's an important message delivered by this earthquake: everything could happen, and sometimes it just does in a way beyond of imagination. A woman was stuck in a collapsed buliding and she cut her leg to drink the blood in order to stay alive. And eventually, this brave lady has been discovered and got rescued. As long as you're tough enough, you'll get through the hard time. Hang on there, even we're not the Iron Man.
The sadest thing is many of the school bulidings collapsed during the earthquake and many students and teachers have gone during the earthquake. I read some of the diaries from the surviving students from Bei Chuan School. The teenagers were terrified by what happened during the earthquake and the consequences: school life have to be suspended, homes were replaced by shelter, worst of all, some of them have witnessed the death of their schoolmates, teachers or family members.
Even there's no earthquake in GZ at May 12th, but let's see us as the lucky ones survive from the disater. Let's help those people who in need and hope the dead people can rest in peace . Let's work together to help them rebuild their homes.
Anyday could be the last day, and hence, love when you can love and never let go when you have that one.
November, 2006 Meditation 记得还是高三的时候，我跟我的师兄JF在打电话的时候。
我问他：“你觉得我会去广州读大学吗？”
他在电话那边回答：“为什么不会呢？”那时候他在读大三.
“没有，我只是不明白。”
“你不去广州读书去哪里啊？”……
我一直记得我跟他说的话，而象这样的疑问一直在心里没有间断过，关于很多事情。现在的我终于明白了，对于很多事情，我自己是一点概念都没有，或者只是止于概念。我思考，我发问。老师前辈们说：“恩，不就是这么回事吗？”高中时候的问题，在大学里某堂课上被一个老师说了出来，我刹时觉得很心旷神怡，开心地笑了很久。
“你为什么要做这样的事情呢”一个比我大几岁的人这样对我说。而我在默默地做着自己的事情，停了下来。“似乎不是我所能够选择的。”……然后过问的人越来越少了。
如果我们都都违反了规律，那么是不是叫正常？如果我们不按牌出牌，是不是就不会赢？如果生命里没有了这样那样的秩序，我们的行为是不是更能取得别人的理解？
郁闷，为什么真理总是决定在少数人的手上？
无奈，为什么命运由别人来决定？
做兼职翻译的时候又认识了一个中大的女生，我很喜欢跟她聊天。她说她要自己创业，因为希望能够用自己的标准去衡量自己，“帮别人打工，命运总是由别人来决定。”此时的她已经在澳门注册了一个自己的公司。
前几天发了人生第一份是申请全职工作的简历给一个外资公司，而第二天就收到了面试的通知。到了公司，看到他们在中国广州的代表，面试了将近一个小时。其实我很高兴，因为我很有把握拿到那份工作，而实际上也那样。
“why would you want this job?and do you think you can meet all those requirements(你为什么想要这份工作，你觉得能够符合我们的要求吗？”面试我的是一个中东的人。
“Because I want this job.and I think you can expect more than those requirements from me.”（因为我想得到那份工作，并且我认为自己能够超越你们的标准。）
接着我谈了自己对于这份工作的理解，很多。最后他表示很希望我能跟他们一起工作。我想我已经不在乎了，因为我还不能开始工作。因为我还要考试，学校里还有很多的课并且老师都会点名。
只是自己最终都觉得有一种感觉，更多的时候我们聊天是用学校，是用证书，是用一种很容易看到的却没有什么实质性的东西去衡量我们，去定位自己。而在这样的追逐的过程中，这些表面的东西最终成为了我们的精神追求和一个个“我们”，一群面无表情地坐着公共汽车，穿着质量价钱不一的工作服走进高低不同的大楼里的“我们”。一切变得那么纯粹---利益驱动，直到我们没有任何能力去获得这些标准区分我们的时候，我们该入土为安了。 September, 2006 今天广州天阴，小雨 今天下午我真的被打击得哭了，还好我终于摸着哭着回到了学校。我好恨自己！！！昨天去书店之前潜意识告诉我要尽快地把事情办好，结果没有想到自己真是倒霉到不能再倒霉了，居然就因为那几个小时，事情便峰转直下！！！！我好恨自己！面对很多很多艰难的事情，很困难的时候，都不曾使我掉眼泪。只有为上次感情的事情，心疼父母逐渐老去，还有一些可怜的人和同情的事而流过眼泪……现在我好伤心啊，可是已经不能改变了。  早上刚刚知道结果的时候，除了片刻的空白，我还是很平静地去想解决的方法。到了下午的时候，我冒着小雨出去，我告诉自己要坚强，我又质问自己为什么我要这么坚强？ 我找到的第一个人告诉我没有办法了，事情就这样了。这个女人很消极。 但当时的我并没有被第一盆冷水而放弃。第二个人说你怎么这么倒霉呢？你打这个电话找这两个人其中一个人看他们能否帮助你。 打电话，我问第三个人：有同样经历的人吗？第三个人说从来没有出现过这样的情况，我的权力有限，老实说，我不知道如何处理，但我不明白为什么那个人会叫你打电话给我。你去请示下第四个人。这是他的手机号码。 后来，我没有再打电话了。我知道，没有用，因为现在的人都是怕麻烦的人，这是他们的生活轨迹，平平淡淡，无风无险，他们之间已经形成了许多心照不宣的生活秩序和内心规范。 这种无望的情绪开始笼罩着我，让我觉得很压抑很压抑，天下起了雨，我没有撑伞，虽然我一直恐惧广州的硫酸雨。我一个人走在珠江边的堤岸上，流着眼泪…… 生与死都是上天安排的，人生就是这么一个短暂之旅。在这个旅程中，我唯一可以决定的就是满怀激情地往前走。 周五去公司签合同，做秋交会的兼职，tomorrow is another day，我不能太伤心，否则世界将弃我而去。山穷水尽疑无路 柳暗花明又一村.I would carry on. September, 2006 My summer vacationI am going back to school to get ready for the new semester after staying at home for nearly 2 weeks.what have i done during this summer vacation?
7th,july.the first day of my summer vacation.
From 8th-18th july
i gone to shenzhen city to start my TA job.
From 20th-31th july
i started my internship in an consulting company.
I quit my job on 1ST,August.And paid some visit to my friends.
From 5th--16th
I took my TA job in shenzhen again.
From 18th. Aug--2nd Sep.
^^i came back home and enjoyed my vacation.
Something:
1.I had a really good time in the english camp and i really miss some of my students cause you helped me to find myself.
2.I lost my cellphone.A thief just stolen it from my dorm.
3.I lost my glasses.
4.i enjoy my mother's cooking.
I want to say thank you and sorry especially to Caroline.Thank you for all your concerns.
It's DO o'clock---My internship experienceSorry,guys.Beryl's back.
And first of all,i am gonna to share you a story that was written down already in August.With this body and face,what i've done and doing complete a whole me.I guess i would be more real in this way,to you and to myself.
Here we go!
I was challenged by my boss today,fortunately,I was not the one who was attacked with a rorrent of abuse,but Tao。I really sympathized with her for I know she is a nice and hard-working girl and she didn’t deserve such kind of censure.Honestly,Censure is much worse than punishment.~~
There's a rule in almost every company.No matter how the boss blame you,you just can not fight back because boss is boss,this is how other people tell me.Is the boss equivalent with the truth?To me I really don’t buy that.besides,being a boss is not necessarily means that she/he can abuse her/his authority.Right?Actually,i think there're quite a few bosses would abuse their employees for fun,not only because the damage they're about to cause to the company's image and reputation are clear but because people can't devoted themselves fully to the work if they were abused occasionally. What matters a lot is even if my boss circle’s words doesn’t make sense sometimes,but still I can see this middle aged lady is really something .i still remember the first day when I came to this company,she really gave me a hard time by questioning me with a series of questions pointing to the project that we are dealing with,I couldn’t feel worse and nearly devastated because she made me felt like i am good for nothing.When I was on my way to home, some fragments of my first meeting with my boss kept running through my head and reminded me to seek a way to resolve. I felt that there was some bad and blue ideas are instilling into my mind and urge me to make a choice.Are you in or are you out?MY major has nothing to do with marketing and,of crouse,consulting.i tried to find a justification for being imperfect during my performance review in order to make myself feel better but I failed because I think I can not just escape until I do something to change my boss or my fellow workers’ perception of me and my ability.Besides,life without difficuties is no fun at all.By the way,Where's the root of all those difficulties?That something you are asking for needs you to overcome it before you reach your goal and get your share...for the sake of building up a strong me, i appeared in the office the following morning.Don't over-think,it's Do o'clock. I graduately find my job is very fulfilling because i am learning new things everyday to complete some paper work.And my personal awareness were developed a lot during this time. I’ve done a little background check about my boss and I find out that she once was a editor in a famous local news-paper in HK and had worked for a worldwide consulting company.i admire her very much,her great efforts made our company has a very special corporate culture different from those I have ever work for.for instance, you are required to take notes when other’s especially when your boss are going to assign you to do something,and we have dicussion sometimes over the poject at hand. I really think that I can devolope my business sense and find out something, possibly the shortcoming or other problems that I am not yet aware in the pass three years of my college education.it’s nice to be with all these guys.For some other reasons,i just worked in that company for only 8 days. August, 2006 Written in my Birthday --1st,AugToday is the Army Day in china,which is to celebrate the founding anniversary of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army(PLA).All the soldiers share the same characteristic in troops,that’s tough. Once there’s a song written for them and it says they are made of iron,live in poor condition and thoroughbred. And today is also my birthday.My mom gave birth to me years ago in such a significant day and then they gave me a chinese name which with the same pronunciation as solider(Bing in pingyin) with the hope that their daughter would grow up to be an intelligent and talented girl. Today is another god damn hot day in summer. I could not imagine how miserable it would be to give birthday to a child in such a a hot weather.Mom told me that she felt terribly sick after that.This is a really a pain-taking job and can afflict women especially when all the medical facilities and medical care can't not meet the patients' requirements. Thank you,mom. Thanks for what you've done to me in the last xx years.It's because what you have done that i achieved whatever i have today. I also want to say thank you to those who always keep me in mind and sent me gifts and messages today.My friends,you taught me how to share and cooperate .You had me known there's a love and relation which is as deep as family members can offer. I will give my best wishes to you.And I had made a little wish today.I hope I can make it come true the next year in my birthday.Bless us all. July, 2006 My TA life 回来也有一个礼拜了，总觉得不把这个经历写下来很对不起那群学生。这是在我人生里的一次有趣的经历。
我的TA life的点点滴滴，由于最近很忙，从深圳回来两天就开始了我的internship,只能在空余的时间写了...
开始了，一切的一切犹如发生在昨天…… 时间过得真快~~回来休息了两天,嗓子才终于好了很多,Thank God... 这个学期我一直在忙碌，兼职，学习……
7月6号的晚上，我完成了最后一门功课的考试. 7月7号疯狂地看了三部电影,放假的感觉真是太舒服了~~还记得傍晚的时候跟Joey,wendy去吃饭和逛街.脑子里想着的也还是很多其它的事情，以至于我一直在走神以及打电话。晚上回来一直累得不想动,直到11点多,我才开始收拾准备去深圳的行李.结果,由于连日的熬夜,居然到了两点多才上床. 更可气的是本来SET到7点的闹钟居然没有响,到了7点40分左右被舍友吵醒.Damn,又是这样.只好打车去了广州的总部,%^$#@.... 由于汽车司机不认识路，我们最后一辆车的人在兜兜转转经历了五个小时才到了传说中的贵族学校。我们到达的时候，并没有先安排好宿舍而是直接就开始上课。而在这个时候我认识了中学部的其他五位助教，负责B1班Jolly和Jane，负责B2班的我和Kisten，以及负责B3班的Gloria和Jessica。B1，B3的主教很快就过来了，而我们的主教还没有来。我们班的班主任在上面自我介绍之后，就要求学生上去自我介绍，然后那个很老实又容易被欺负的女生已经不知道要说什么了。Kisten对我说：Beryl,我们上去救场吧。“Alright.”我点头答应了。 当时的我和她都背着超级大的旅行背包，然后就走上了讲台。那是我第一次看到我的学生，第一个感觉是他们都长得很可爱，后来跟他们相处下来的10天里，也深刻地感受到了这一点。由于大家都刚到一个陌生的环境，加上路途奔波，因此大家都觉得很累。……To be continue. 我把一些发生的事情都记在了手机里面。 2006年7月9号 事情一 “Beryl老师，super noba是什么意思？当时Price在黑板里写下了这样的一个词组，并且放在了super man的旁边，我猜想应该是没有名气的人的意思，因为我还从来没有看过这个词语。结果我就告诉他“应该是寂寂无名的人的意思吧。老师也不太确定。”后来我猜想他会不会是想写super nova？ 下课的时候，坐在小曹旁边的小陈问我问题：“老师，那个super noba是救济农民的人意思吗？好奇怪啊。。。”。 当时我忍不住笑了起来，哎~~give me a break.不过这两个一高一矮的男生实在太可爱了。这应该就是我和我最喜欢的学生小曹认识的过程了。 事情二 今天晚上Price叫每个学生做最近两天的学习和生活的自我检讨。我觉得这个很有意思，一来我是置身事外的旁边者，二来他们的自我检讨的内容真的可以希奇古怪。有一个太原来的男生上去说了一句话：“我觉得今天一切都过得很好。但是我希望明天会过得更好。”从这个男生口中说出来，当时听了这句话觉得特别舒服和实在。 2006年7月10号 今天下午我们班和B3班的男生进行篮球赛。虽然我们班的男生敌不过那一班高三毕业的学生，不过他们也很努力。看着自己认识的人打球，真的会很兴奋和紧张。让我想起了以前放学或者是自由活动课我一个人坐在篮球场边的钢管上看Uncle打球的情景。时间过得真快！ 2006年7月11号 今天中午一点半才回到寝室，真的很累，连食堂的管理人员看到我们的时候都很诧异，因为我们班的学习计划，所以把吃饭时间推迟了一个多小时，由于Price今天叫所有的学生都背一篇很有难度的文章。因此，我们两个助教当然在旁边协助……很郁闷~ 2006年7月13号 今天晚上我们玩一个击鼓传杯子的游戏，规则大家都知道吧。有一地方我觉得很有趣，一个跳街舞的男生很幸运地拿到了杯子。于是我们便叫他表演街舞，可能由于太紧张的缘故，他一直进入不了状态。因此我们请了一位太原的男生上去，那个男生rap歌很厉害，他上去一直rap,大家都很投入地听着，忽然他说了一句话“老师，他怎么不跳啊？”，顿时哄堂大笑。 2006年7月15日 事件一 今天下课的时候，我看到一个湖南来的女孩曾静在玩一片破碎了的镜子，于是我就叫她扔掉，因为那个破碎面极其不规则。刘东正那个小鬼就把碎片拿走了，很无意但是又带着顽皮成分地在他的手掌上划了几下，不料真的把自己划伤了，还流了血出来，因为那个碎片实在太锋利了。于是我就想把他拿回来，不知道出于什么原因，小曹想过来抢走那块碎片，我们都同时拿到了，我感觉到他在用力抢那块碎片，但是出于对学生的安全考虑，我也使了点力气，于是我们就争持了一下，最终我怕会伤害到人，就故意地把手缩了回来还装出被割到的样子。他看着我，一贯地鼓起腮子（不开心的时候），似乎很担心的样子，“真的伤到了吗？”“恩，有点疼，你们还是把它扔掉，不然会有很多人受伤的。”他就转向小陈，对着他说”哎呀，好后悔呀，好后悔呀...”这些学生真可爱。^^ 事件二 由于几天来用嗓子过度，所以每每说话的时候都感觉需要特别用气用力，很累。 下课的时候，我跟小曹说：“可以帮我拿杯水过来吗？” “是胖大海吗？”他用明亮的眼睛看着我。我感到很欣慰，为什么他知道？我微笑着点了点头，他就一个人去了医务室帮我用热水泡了一杯胖大海。 ……“来，给你。”我看着他的眼睛，有些东西不需要表达，忽然之间心里觉得很温暖，这个小男生真的很会体贴人。 事件三 今天下课的时候看到小曹在看故事会，是从原来学生的桌子里拿的。我就问他，“这书好看吗？” “不好看，即使是笑话也是冷冷的。”听到他的回答我有点surprised,不知道现在的小孩子都玩些什么呢？ 当我看到有一个以爱为标题的文章的时候，我问他：“你看这个合适吗，有没有小女朋友？” 他回答我说：“有人喜欢我，但是我拒绝了。我妈说到了大学里的恋爱才是真正的恋爱，那样的恋爱才是完美的。所以我也要到了大学才谈恋爱。” lol...  确实，大学里的恋爱应该是一个人一辈子中最让人怀念的了。２００６年７月１６日 今天晚上我们看电影《后天》，除了要认识到保护环境的重要性，以实际行动去保护环境之外，我还从影片中感受了到亲情和爱情，那个男生的父亲因为答应了他要去救他，并不顾生命危险在恶劣和严寒的天气中徒步走到纽约。同时，那个男生也冒着被狼吃掉的危险而去了那艘船上去寻找能够治疗那个女生的抗生素药品。那个女生说的一句话让我沉思了一下，她这么多年一直努力地去学习去奋斗，但是忽然之间，一切她梦想得到的东西都已经不可能成为现实，因为世界即将要被冰封，而她生存的机会也是一个未知数...所以我们是否能够可以借鉴到什么？看电影的时候，我和小曹、小陈三个人共饮了同一瓶绿茶，当我看到小陈拿起另外一瓶绿茶喝的时候，我问他：“你买了？” 他回答：“老师，不是你的吗？”“我的喝光了，瓶子也扔掉了啊。”“啊……那我喝了谁的？”“不知道，哈哈。。。” ２００６年７月１７日 今天晚上我们在班里举行一个fare well party,相处了１０天的人们终于要say good bye.我们来自不同的城市，有着不同的笑容，带着共同的目的一起来到了深圳的英语学习营。晚上的时候我唱了两首歌，一个是s club 7的have you ever,主要是很想传达歌词的意思给同学知道，我唱的时候他们都在下面拍着掌，外教john在看着我唱，也许他被我感动了吧...^^ tell me have you ever love and lost somebody wish there's a chance to say i am sorry can you see that's the way i feel about you ane me,baby. have you ever feel your heart was breaking looking down the road you should be taking i should know,yes i lost myself the day i let you go 其他的同学也纷纷上来唱歌，临别之际，大家都想用歌声来带给对方自己的美好祝福以及表达深厚的友谊。有一个深圳的学生，由于明天就要去上海音乐学院学钢琴和长号，因此他提前离开我们，在他的家长过来接他的时候，我们全部的人都疯狂地叫着他的名字，“肥肥，肥肥……”他一直低着头，向我们摇着手，我想他会哭的，因为我也被感动了。也许，青春就是这样的单纯，我们应该要毫不掩饰地表达自己的情感... ２００６年７月１８号 今天我们早上的时候举行学生的结业典礼，我们三个中学营的都集中在一起。我们将会颁发给每一个参加这个学习营的学生一本结业的证书。我们三个班都唱了不同的英文歌曲，最后我们的助教，班主任以及主教都上去唱，应该是全场唱了一首《真心英雄》，场面十分热闹。歌声之后，我们开始颁发证书，被点到名的同学一个个上来拿，回忆起这十天的甜酸苦辣，以及自己在英语方面的进步。（这个封闭的军事化管理的营确实很辛苦，每天早上７点种起床，中午一小时休息，然后一直上到晚上９点半或者１０点，连我都吃不消。其实很大程度上，在这样的环境之下，学生学习的能力被逼了出来，但过程是痛苦的。）当我听到自己喜欢的学生的名字被叫的时候，我对班主任carol说：“我想亲手交给他／她。”我尤其记得曾静，小曹，以及会跳街舞的那个湖南小男生。我把证书亲手交给了他们，并且拥抱了一下曾静，跟湖南的小男生握了一下手，曾静一直在那里哭。结果，我也不自觉了掉了眼泪……她是我很喜欢的一个女生，记得有一天，我一个人在操场上散步，他们三个女生过来操场捉蝗虫玩，他们告诉了我一个鬼故事。我就答应他们说，晚上老师也给你们讲鬼故事。晚上下课的时候，由于她们几个要好的女孩互相告诉对方，因此晚上等我去她们宿舍的时候，已经是很多人在守侯着，  ，我给他们讲了一个关于我看到的电影《笔仙》的故事，他们听得很入神，以至于一点风吹草动都可以吓到他们，尤其那天深圳那里刮台风。。。最后我回去睡觉的时候，我还不断强调不要迷信。这一招果然很奏效，第二天的我问他们害不害怕的时候，他们说我：“老师你讲的时候很恐怖啊，但是讲完之后就不恐怖了。” 我实在是不够功力……不过，我知道我对他们说的话意味着什么，他们尊敬我，and i know my words will work for them,不能忽视长辈给小孩子带来的影响，我很高兴自己已经做到了。这是我１０天来唯一一次去学生的宿舍，此后曾静一见到我就问我：“Beryl老师，你什么时候再来我们的宿舍讲鬼故事啊？”她的声音很好听，所以我一想到她的时候就立刻想到了她笑着问我的情形。以后，也不可能再聚集来这一群各地的学生再听我讲故事了。所以我们应该要学会珍惜，当还有机会的时候。不要自动放弃。旁边那两个班的分别都比我们的学生要老和小，我看到jessica和gloria也哭得很凶，they should be... 中午我们吃了入营以来最丰盛的自助餐，Ｂ３的学生一直在饭堂里面唱歌,我看到了很emotional的Jessica在一群人中拉着嗓子唱着歌，she is cute，他们一群人围着一首一首歌地接着唱……回头看一眼，我们班里面的几个女生还在哭...sigh. 中午吃完，我们就已经要从宿舍把收拾好的行李拿出来了，按照安排，深圳的学生先走。由于我跟小曹和小陈都很要好，我一开始拍着小陈的肩膀对他说：“以后要好好学习，知道吗？还有，你很聪明，但是你的注意力还不够集中……”我觉得自己有点哽咽的感觉，而他也用手擦眼泪。然后，我看着小陈身边的小曹，那时候的小曹，我从来没有见过他的这种表情，应该是很复杂的吧。我看着他，说了一句：“好好读书，知道吗？”说完，我就不知道要说什么了，因为我知道他很聪明，即使不用说，他也会明白的。终于，当大家都拿起行李要上车的时候，我对小曹说：“跟老师抱一个吧。”他走了过来，我们采用了欧美的方式去送别。他转身拿起了他的行李，本来不哭的他也掉了眼泪……他无声地把他的学生证送给了我留念。ＰＳ：哭一下对健康有利。 10天后，我也与其他那五位可爱的女孩道别了。我们六个人，每个人都有着不一样的性格特点.I think there is a word for 6 of us,that's tough,we are all of one kind--tough girls .从他们学习了很多东西，谢谢。我很喜欢我们睡觉前或者每天下课后的chit chat。希望Kisten能够用她的爱感动上天，God,Give her a chance to be with her boyfriend.plssssssssss... 回来广州的时候，我还是没有能很快地抽离学习营的生活，因为它改变了我的一些想法，让我学习到很多东西...美好的经历，bless you all,dear. July, 2006 Gonna start my TA life I just done packing my stuff.well...
I passed the interview and i would go to shenzhen city to work as a teaching assitant in liyang crazy english summer camp,which means i would put my internship off untill the the late july.>_<...
I was intended to take a break after my final exams for a couple of days but it is way too remote.I got a call from the general headquarters of that organization,aaaaaaa...Sigh.I just had one day break~I would start out at around 7:00 tomorrow morning and i can see that is the first step on the road way back to busy life again!!!
I had watched 3 movies today and i really had a good time.I can't even remember when was the last time i saw a movie and what i've seen.The effect of busy life on friendship and another stuff can easily be seen.Busy life can lead to many problems...But to a large extent,this way of life affects my expectations and attitude in life in general and in the way i deal with things. It helps me to see myself and see things in right perspective. The more i know how other people live and the more things i have experience,the better i know about this world.Follow your heart and keep your options open.When your path is clear,you life would be clear,too.That's how i feel about my current life.
what's in your heart now?And what's the objective of your desire now?Well,i would say i wanna go to sleep,lol...
Alright,considering that i might not have the access to the internet cause it's a closed camp.5555.Miss you guys and take care. June, 2006 Another white night I feel particularly tired after several white nights.The pressure is really on.I have to complete a paper translation within 4 days while i have to take care of my review at the same time and the deadline is just 2 days ahead.
One of my friend who just graduated from university called me just now and kept complaining to me about her job,working condition,salary and so forth.To me all that she stated sounded unreasonable because she got a high income job with a promising future.I almost wanted to say that she got a wrong attitude but i didn't.If she simply change another perspetive that she view things she could be much more happier as what truely matter is she just didn't realize how lucky she is. I fall ill now and then result from staying up late and immunological deficiency.I have been thinking a lot wether or not to give up the path i am pursuing.Is this exactly what i am longing for?I still remember when i was considerbaly young,A VIP in my life shared a lightening story to me which inspired me to work hard for my goal.And till now i still remember all those life-changing words from him.Something like"you got a certain ability that you can develope in yourslef and you should seize every chance that could possibly make it happened." well,i didn't let that chance slip away and i am doing fine with it right now.But why i am tying so hard to seek a way to resolve these days?To me I want to make more substantial of myself to others and more of my life to myself but i cannot make it as long as i am doing this. Even though this is my part-time job,but it is now destroying me and it's destroying the world that i'm living in... Sigh,what da hell are these supposed to be?It looks as if i am talking crap here...i think i am really losing mind right now and really want to go to bed and take a nap.Hope i won't confused you when you read this because it's right for me to feel that way when you have to keep on working 7/24... Kiss night,Friends. June, 2006 Which side is more likely to win this time? Today i read one of the news concerning about the diplomatic strategy between Iran and US.As we are all clear that Washington and Tehran don't agree on much over Iran's nuclear program.
And it suddenly occurred to me that last time US insisted that there're some dangerous nuclear weapon in Irap and forced them to renounce to use them.Even though i dont't precisely know what really happened but it's obvious that the result turned out to be so unfavorable.Nearly 50,000 Iraki people and adding up to 2520 US soldier were killed in the war according to a report from Times in 25th June.
I have my own attitude to life,which is be positive to every aspect to life and never make it too complicated.
Back to the point of the conflict between Iran and US,which side is possibly to win this time?I can see that both of them are very persisted and unlikely to back off.According to the common sense,Iran may turn to play the oil card while US will threaten to resort to extremes necessary.In my opinion,even if the likelihood of diplomatic resolution may be remote,but it might work if both of them can just cool down a little bit.The reason why i couldn't help concerning about this is that once Iran really cut off their oil supply,which is believed to have about 10% of the world's proven reserves,it will have an sinificant impact on global oil price... To some extent,it means that i gotta work very hard for the petrolic bill once i buy a car in the future.
 lol.BMW... So this is a nuclear test for diplomacy for both sides.Supposed you are the president of one of the country.what are you likly to deal with this?
Be patriotic and let's against war.
Well,time to take a nap and get up one hour later to hit the book.
PS:i am so sick of sitting in the classroom without air-consitioner and recite all kinds of definations...For (bla bla bla)'s sake,still have to do it and make it right. June, 2006 写给我可爱的朋友们大概是因为免疫力下降的缘故，昨天发烧了，谢谢朋友对我的关心与照顾。大概也许由于长期熬夜的缘故，所以本来不好的身体更加虚弱，在此希望各位朋友不要效仿，也劝戒被迫熬夜和Enjoy熬夜的人要改掉这个不好的习惯。提起我熬夜的原因，不得不追溯到上个学期。由于上个学期初涉人生的某些领域失败，致使鄙人一下乱了手脚。我是个思想者，为了避免睡觉前脑袋被漫无边际的思想填满弄致自己痛苦不堪，我干脆把自己弄得疲惫不堪然后再睡觉......身边的朋友一直对此极其不满，昨天当我发烧，些许神志不清的时候，那些清醒和可爱的朋友一直在我的身边照顾我。让我感觉到无比的温暖和幸福。其实，有时候不需要那么执着，失去了会有更好的在前面。
 我要睡觉了，谢谢可爱的朋友们。早睡早起，平衡发展，生命之循环不息之道。2006-3-26 1:22:02 DerekYu Would you mind i say something....negative
2006-3-26 1:22:09 Beryl okay. 2006-3-26 1:23:15 DerekYu you are overwork, should get more rest.. 2006-3-26 1:24:01 DerekYu consequences of a poor night's sleep – higher stress, increased mistakes, difficulty concentrating 2006-3-26 1:24:20 Beryl ……my god. 2006-3-26 1:24:20 DerekYu of cause health 2006-3-26 1:24:29 Beryl Do i looked such bad? 2006-3-26 1:24:32 Beryl awful? 2006-3-26 1:25:14 DerekYu i didn't mean it. just concern about you.. 2006-3-26 1:25:32 Beryl because i am too tired to smile la 2006-3-26 1:26:33 DerekYu How many average hours for sleep? you 2006-3-26 1:26:44 Beryl 6 2006-3-26 1:26:55 Beryl as a total 2006-3-26 1:27:14 DerekYu that's what i'm talking about.. 2006-3-26 1:27:35 Beryl okay............ 2006-3-26 1:27:40 Beryl go to bed now~~~~~~~~~ 2006-3-26 1:27:45 Beryl master. 2006-3-26 1:28:05 DerekYu Whoa!:( 2006-3-26 1:28:26 DerekYu You are hurting youself 2006-3-26 1:28:38 Beryl you got a point.. 2006-3-26 1:28:44 Beryl i will go to bed la.honey 2006-3-26 1:28:57 DerekYu I don't want to see you die 2006-3-26 1:29:15 Beryl godness. 2006-3-26 1:29:16 DerekYu *-) 澳 (2006-06-18 20:16:35)
刚刚上QQ 无意中发现Q-zone的背景音乐里多了一首歌，^ ^ 应该是你的杰作吧 :) 还有又不小心感冒发烧了? 不要太郁闷,希望快点好起来,i am being with you PS:Thank you. 改变 (2006-06-19 12:56:48) 你发烧啊？ Beryl (2006-06-19 12:51:06) 恩 改变 (2006-06-19 12:57:51) 注意身体哦，快要考试了 Beryl (2006-06-19 12:52:04) 恩~ 改变 (2006-06-19 12:58:12)  Beryl (2006-06-19 12:53:18) 谢谢你 改变 (2006-06-19 13:00:55) 不用 骆驼 (2006-06-19 12:45:40) 你发烧了? Beryl (2006-06-19 12:46:59) 恩 骆驼 (2006-06-19 12:47:10) 今天?昨天? Beryl (2006-06-19 12:47:29) 昨天回去的时候。 骆驼 (2006-06-19 12:48:03) 不是吧,这么黑仔阿,看医生吃药了吧? Beryl (2006-06-19 12:48:59) 吃了，好多了现在。谢谢 骆驼 (2006-06-19 12:49:51) 你就要考试了哦,这个时候发烧,运气还真不好 Beryl (2006-06-19 12:51:00) 的确 陈洲轶 (2006-06-19 18:07:10) 冰儿 你不会又病了吧 Beryl (2006-06-19 18:15:04) 恩~~~~~~~ 陈洲轶 (2006-06-19 18:17:58) 。。。怎么会这样啊 你是不是老熬夜啊 不是叫你注意休息吗 Beryl (2006-06-19 18:18:45) 可能免疫力比较差吧。最近老是感冒，我要去读书了。。kiss u bye. 陈洲轶 (2006-06-19 18:21:04) 你这么不关心自己 怎么去做你喜欢的事 又怎么去爱别人呢？？？要适可而止。 陈洲轶 (2006-06-19 18:21:08) bye 无可避免 忽然领悟到了很多的东西，有很多的东西是无可避免的。我以前认为自己可以逾越一个阶段跳到另外的一个阶段，也许我可以，但是现在对一些事物的评判标准上会不认可你。我相信以前有过很多的人也有过和我一样的挣扎，但他们最终不可避免地选择了走同样的道路，做同样的事情，他们有不同的结果，而这样的结果是完全根据个人付出的努力去获得的，有的甚至不择手段去换得可以让圈外人认为的成功，我认为这个过程毫无乐趣而言，因为这些人至少连价值观都有问题。（如果你觉得我的言辞否定了你，我道歉）
我读了林的好几本书，这位大师没有在书中给我一直期待的答案，觉得很遗憾，很想知道他对于一些问题的想法，可惜他已经离开了这个世界。
坦然，为结果。乐观，为过程。我的棱角也许不被你所接受，但我的影响你不能小视。
To avoid or to accept,this is the question.
June, 2006 the evolution of consciousness疑惑随着知识而增长。 ——歌 德 昨天晚上在洗澡的时候终于将困扰自己将近一个多月的问题想通了。终于不必在那个领域停止进步了。曾经很多次就这个问题问过很多人，得到的回答类似于一句话：you'll cross the brige when you come to it. 经过： 昨天晚上洗澡的时候忽然有了唱歌的兴趣，唱着唱着忽然开始用英语自言自语，不自觉地说到了昨天在面试的见闻。Tina和David两个人都留给了我很不可思议的感觉。David的执着以及疯狂，Tina的沉着与理智。David毫不掩饰地跟我们分享了他的一些经历以及学习方法。而我的注意力一直在Tina的身上，虽然她没有透露太多的细节，但是在她向大家表述她的20 mins' teaching plan的时候，我看到了所有人的眼睛都看着我身边的Tina,She's amazing! 为什么会没有内容？为什么有内容却没有深度？ 终于找到答案,虽然我曾经假设过这个答案可能会解决问题,让我脱离停留在第一个stage,让我取得更进一步的进步.但是我不得不相信这个寻找答案的过程是曲折的而又痛苦的,因为它让你不得不相信原来学习上的进步是没有什么轻松而快乐的途径.而你一直想逃避的过程原来是不可避免的.而它正是答案. 于是心里再不那么狂躁,厚积薄发. June, 2006 Another experience I am feeling a little bit nervous right now cause i have to attend another interview tomorrow moring,which i really uncool with.All my classmates will attend class tomorrow which means i have to skip class again,what truely matters is that it will be Peter's last class in this school.He will probably go back to his country.Peter is someone i admire very much.He's not the usual type as well.he's hummorous and knowledgable.i feel very happy that i can have him as the last foreign english teacher in my life.I think i am gonna miss him after he leave,i am gonna miss a lot of things after i graduate....Touch about the interview,I don't know why i will have to go through this kind of experience that other's don't or have never been in before.
Anyway,it is really stupid to feel nervous at least it will affect your feeling and performance.I know they are looking for the best students who can better meet their demand.so will my interviewer could be as handsome as Mr Yang or?^^well,going wild...
As a matter of fact,most of my friends say that i am a very confident girl.i can say without hesitation that i really am very confident in most of the case,but when it comes to something i am not certain with,i will feel quite at loss and can't precisely know i am doing about...hope i won't be ill-equipped tomorrow morning..blesssssss....
It suddenly evoke some bad memories of the old days.i still remember that when i was a grade 2 student in primary school，My teacher always crossed with me,how could she been so hard to a little girl like me at that time?Probably she was sick in mind.I clearly remember that i got 98 in a chinese test one time and she told me like this:"see?you made a very stupid mistake here and don't you think you can get 100 all the time."actually,this is a great blow to me at that time and i turned to be a silent girl and focus on the reading ever since then...this is nothing but a shadow that i can't remove.She's a utter ...who the bloddy hell is she?she deprived the happiness that a student should get...
By the way,the position that i am applying for is a teaching assitant in a very famous training school and i passed the first round of interview.If i pass it,i will do my best to assit the teacher and i will not be so hard to my student.It was very provoking of her being so hard to little students...
i am not a arrogant girl like she once said and i am not going to.okay,time to go to bed.I hope that i can sleep straight through.Like what caroline said,no matter bad experience or good experience,they both are teachers.i might come back with some details tomorrow..
Just let your personality shine through  June, 2006 Game "Game is on.Baby.Are you ready?"
"let me think about it?"
"well...are you afraid?for what?
"i don't know whether i am ready for it or not"
"Chop chop,cause you know we won't wait anybody."
"sorry."
"yes,Baby,you know there's no way back.Take it or leave it?"
"You think i should take this chance to join this game,right?"
"Yes,didn't you remember???
"i remember.but i can't possibly complete the game."
"of crouse you can."
"why?"
"because i have a faith in you."
"why?I am not who i used to be"
"but you're still the one,the only one that i know."
"okay,that's enough."
"okay,Here's the game rule No.1..."
Smile.....Game is really on.I am sorry.
June, 2006 Graduation&Other things 昨天，睡梦之中被师兄的电话叫起来去跟他合照，原来不知不觉中，他已经要毕业了。这是我第一次看到这么多穿着学士服的人在一起合照，看着他们把学士帽快乐地扔向高空的时候，我也跟着笑了……
时间真的过得很快，一切好象发生在昨天……
第一天开学报名，把东西放好在宿舍之后跟爸爸妈妈和叔叔出去吃饭。
吃完饭后，叔叔和爸爸妈妈在车上问我：”还有什么东西需要买和准备的吗？”
“恩，应该没有了吧。“
“那你在学校里好好读书，有事就打电话回家，知道吗？我们不去你宿舍了，你自己保重自己。“
”恩。你们也是。“
关上车门，我感觉他们的车子开走了，走了几步，忽然，眼泪掉了下来……一个不会做饭，从来没有洗过衣服，一个一回家就关上房间的门听音乐的孩子要开始她的campus life了。这个地方好陌生啊，看着眼前接着来报名的学生和家长，一点的归属感也没有。
回到宿舍，我开始打扫卫生，因为我是第一个到学校的。等我出去倒垃圾的时候，听到房门关上的声音……
“hey,不要开玩笑了……“手上拿着一个垃圾筐，穿着拖鞋，裤子，衣服和头发因为清洁而被打湿的形象……
 我立刻从从11楼走到楼下注册报到点。
”请问师姐，你知道国贸班的助理教师在哪里吗？我遇到了点麻烦。”在此之前，我从来没有见到过师兄。
“在那边啊。”
“哦，谢谢”
“请问你是不是我们班的助理班主任？”
“恩，你好，请问你有什么事情吗？”他打量着我
”我被锁在宿舍门口了，没有钥匙。你可以帮我吗？“
”哦，哈哈……可以啊，真是难忘的经历啊^^."
”……过奖了。“我苦笑道，embarrassing.
这就是我跟师兄第一次见面的情形以及我开学第一天的经历。后来，我们成了朋友……师兄,all the best.
能够把握的总是只有这一刻……
May, 2006 I will suprise u^^I've learnt a lot from other ppl lately,which is about sth that i am not yet aware.I felt very happy i have a bevy of professionals to help me.
I nearly devastated during my first attempt to do sth(secret^^) cause the socalled expert said my work was totally a mess.which made me feel extremely depressed yesterday.And i didn't know what to do.Should i quit or persist?Gosh~i can feel that there're some bad and blue ideas are instilling into my mind at the time...And i had a nightmare that night,which was very horrible and it was about fate and sth else.And after i woke up and the some fragments of that dream kept running though my head which reminded me to seek a way to resolve.
I tried to find a justification for being imperfect during my performance review in order to make myself feel better.but i failed.Cause what i am longing for is more than an excuse but something behind the truth.And the truth is -----sth all about timing.
I have a faith that i have an insight into sth.And i have to admit that his words really hit me at the first beginning,but then i realize that the ultimate indignity is giving up.Besides,i like this kind of practice and i am gonna conquer every hardship that might come to me on the way that i pursure sth i want.
I will surpise you and i am gonna to achieve sth that would surpass your expectation.
 Leap with faith and be proud of every step you take even though it might end up with failure.
May, 2006 what is lovewhat is love between lovers?
什么是恋人之间的爱
i say it's something beyong comprehension.
我说爱是超出理解的事物
i say it's a feeling that you can't stop once you start it.
我说爱是一种一旦开始就无法停止的感觉
i say it's a dream that you afraid of waking.
我说爱是一个你害怕醒来的梦
i say love it's a sweet smile when you think of him
我说爱是当你想起他的一个甜蜜的微笑
i say love is not just romance
我说爱不仅仅是浪漫
And i am here,but where i can find my love?
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you're the one..might not have him to say such kind of words to me again in the rest of my life...|
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