Absolute Zero

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

When the life goal or whatever target is set, just go ahead no matter what happens. This is what I learnt from Snow Patrol: Founded in 1994, but only got their career breakthrough in 2003. And I recalled how Mayun, the CEO of the most successful marketplace site Alibaba, addressed his opinion towards failure and success: Success is far from reach, so I just prepare myself to fail everyday. Hahaha...This idea really hits me: Don't be bothered by the results before you try to do anything, just do all that you can.  

Snow Patrol has been under financial pressure in their early years, and the leading vocalist has once sold his CD collection to pay for his rent. My best friend Wendy dropped by and spent the last weekend with me due to the government servant exam on Dec 28^th. Wendy cooked very delicious soup for me and we listened Lenka’s song “Trouble is a friend” together. Wendy is compatible to everyone because she has a good personality and a kind heart. I can’t figure out why she can’t find a desirable job and being unemployed. Having been through some difficulties in our lives, I told her now we have a better understanding of hardship. My friend, I hope you’ll be good forever…

Alright, back to music. My favorite Snow Patrol songs are “Run” and “Chasing Cars”. I love how Gary Lightbody, the leading vocalist, does to these 2 songs and I love the lyrics and the music. The lyrics are pretty neat and the music just gorgeous. You’ll find yourself almost melt in the music and you probably will cry if you understand what the lyrics are talking about. I have to say these 2 songs are the most frequently played songs of alternative music on my computer. Actually, the other songs like “ All we are”, “You’re all I have”, “Open your eyes” and “Signal Fire” are also not bad tough. Try~~~~~~

Run

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Anyway from here

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world? (Can you actually find somebody connected to your heart and willing to take the venture with you?)

  早上8点多的时候，若睡若醒。隐约听到窗户边传来邻家小孩子在阳台上上嬉闹的声音，在那么一瞬间，忽然清醒：几点了，我迟到了吗？于是真的睁开眼睛，看看枕边那只陌生的熊，看看这张睡了几乎20年的床，恍然大悟---放假了...

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  睡了大概8个多小时的时候(10点多），起床，刷牙，洗脸，溜到厨房找早餐吃。有妈妈留的中药粥，冷的，勺了一碗，美滋滋地吃着，然后开电视机，节目锁定经济，生活，音乐和自然频道，剔除了无数个暑假中最喜爱的乱七八糟的肥皂剧场，在家里的节奏还是一样，舒服和自然。

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  中午时分，妈妈买了丰富的菜回来。坐在客厅的我，闻着这真实的饭菜的香味，竟然有点激动。曾经虔诚地祈祷希望有一个属于自己的空间，毕业后我做到了这一点，才发现我的思想，我的书，我的CD，我的衣服，我的零食，我的公仔，我的face cream和我的鞋子都填不满这个空间，总有一些情绪从缝隙里钻出来，蔓延，充斥我的空间。有把声音在质问，但我没有理会...

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   午饭过后，享受一个奢侈午睡，补充能量之余自己也越来越适应家里的节奏。午睡过后，原形毕露…… “喂，回来了啊？在家么，出来走走？”一拍即和，趁着Uncle放假,大家打算一起回中学打篮球和踢毽子。回家一般节目是去郊外散步/兜风，去镇上的糖水店/凉茶店喝糖水/凉茶，去同学/亲戚家串门，回中学运动等等。于是，大家三三两两穿过窄小热闹的街道回宁中，途中遇到不少小学，初中和高中的同学，不知道在他们眼中的我变化大吗？

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  每次回家都非常希望遇到素素（多年不曾联系的小学好朋友，一个吃零食不吃饭的女生，家里的漫画书多得让我震惊。她让我知道这个世界上有零食店的存在，也带我走进一个漫画世界。）CJ（一个两三个礼拜的同学）和梁XY老师（一小97届六一班班主任）。这几个人想见了很多年了，不想刻意去找他们，且让与他们相关的回忆就放在心里好了。  

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  在广宁求学的学生，如果能够拥有一段宁中的回忆，无论辉煌与否，他/她都是幸福的，这里是读书人的乐园。我想宁中在每个宁中人的心里都有不一样的印象和感受。它之于我，是宽容的一个师长，是真诚的一个朋友，是上进的一个同学。在以学习为主线，成绩为标准，优秀为主题曲的宁中校园里，我放纵过，努力过，成功过，失败过……然后我懂得--生活永远眷顾那些勤奋和踏实的人。

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   回到宁中，五味杂陈。5年多过去了，当年的篮球架旧了，树大了高了，教室旧了。。。趁着老同学题毽子的间隙，我悄悄地走开了，去看看这位日思夜想的老朋友。

  左起为uncle,一个不认识的师兄？大水牛，Leman,两个不认识的小师弟?

  踏上这熟悉的土地，每走一步就有许多的回忆被激活：在水管的后面，是我初一，初二的教室。我中学最快乐的时光几乎就是在这个年级发生。从初一开始，我开始骑自行车上学，成为有车一族后，我的自行车鼓励我跑了小镇上的许多地方。曾经骑车去到广宁监狱附近的一座山，看到满山漂亮的竹子和修葺整齐的石头阶梯，我不顾一切地跑上去，气喘吁吁地到达半山腰想找一个空旷的地方凭空远眺，谁知道满目皆是先人的墓碑。那瞬间几乎被吓得说不出话来，从此安分了很多。

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  宁中规定的晚自修让没有复习习惯的我知道温故知新的同时，也提供很多看其它闲书的时间。小学期间，托好朋友素素的福，我看了不少的小叮当，老夫子，乱马和各式各样的少女漫画。小学晚睡不着的时候，我往往会起床画漫画，希望能用自己的双手创造初属于自己一个漫画形象。当然，我的努力和付出是远远不足够去支撑我的这个愿望的。因此这个形象一直是模糊的。。。

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  进入初中时期，大家开始积极地去发展自己的兴趣和寻找自己的特长。那个时候，我遇到了一个很尽责和高傲的物理老师（中原一点红先生），一个很活泼和热情的英语老师（Alice)，以及一个没有学历和文凭的假语文老师。我对物理的兴趣让我和一群书呆子男生（平时不读书就打游戏机的那种类型）混在了一起，我们从讨论物理问题，到一起相约星期五，六晚上回学校下象棋和偷偷闯入学校的乒乓球室打乒乓球。活泼热情的英语老师让我保持了从五年级开始的英语学习兴趣,词汇逐渐增加的我开始听英文歌曲，从BSB，Westlife开始到各式各样的英伦歌手，初三时候的我为了应付体育加试，经常放学后回家一边跳绳，一边跟着BSB的MTV唱歌...直到今天，我还是觉得英文歌曲的演绎方式和节奏是最能CHEER ME UP的。

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   在初一和初二，我开始尝试去阅读各类风格迥异的文学作品，并在我那张从小学开始用的没有上漆的书桌上用圆珠笔写上我最喜欢和欣赏的句子和段落。想一想，初中语文书里最有印象的文章是史铁生的<我与地坛>，真实和动人。一个秋天的晚上，复习过后的我沉醉在一本借来的小小说中，被语文老师发现后没收，昂贵的价格让我鼓起勇气去向他要回。此后，老师就没有少给我hard time.后来初三分班前的期末考试成绩相信能减轻老师对我的担忧。不过老师却因为捏造假学历被辞退了。

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  初中的我是活跃的，男孩子气的。晚自修和阿叔用本子传字条（讨论打篮球的技巧；放学后有时去看同班的美女 （珍，芳，Apple，Baby and etc）他们练习舞蹈；有时候坐在栏杆上看Uncle,梁立打篮球。后来就是以强身键体为理由加入田径队进行枯燥而刻苦的训练(下午第三节课开始练习到傍晚接近6点,骑车回家洗澡吃饭然后回来参加7点的晚自修)。

     我从来都觉得出班级板报是任务，是同学练字的地方。可是我却无数次驻足在上面的黑板报前，我甚至还拿过纸笔抄过上面的内容。当然象我这样不喜欢被注意的人肯定是选在无人的星期六中午抄的。世界上每个角落都会有让人惊喜的风景，你是否注意到了？

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   三个大拖把的后面是我初三的教室。每当回忆往事的时候，我不会以轻视升中考试而感到自豪，我不会以学不会玩升级而在这个班里感到自卑，我不会以在校庆上为帅哥美女喝彩而感到害羞，我有点不羁，有点放纵，有点大胆，还有点不善言语。升中考试没有让我修心养性，不知名的情书没有让我小鹿乱撞，半途而废的画画没有让我可惜，但升中考试后妈妈的大手术让我憔悴了，成长了，体贴了。

   初三的一次数学考试，成绩考得不太好的我很郁闷。下课后我冒着小雨顺着阶梯跑到操场上静静地走了一圈，最后停在操场上的大树下，狠狠地锤了好几下才罢休。。。记得初二的时候，还把从窗户上发现的一条小壁虎的尸体埋在了大树下，现在小壁虎应该化作春泥更护树了吧。

   这个是全宁中的水源供给中心，没有怎么变化。

  以前初中的我常常一个人坐在这棵树下的水管上看年级里男生的篮球比赛。但我很少注意到头上的那棵树，我想它也长大了吧？

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  在我沉醉在回忆中的时候，远处运动的同学示意要离开了。在夕阳下，我们各自踏上熟悉的路回家享受父母精心准备的晚餐。路上我看到了为节日忙碌的乡人，他们的形态正如身边的一草一木一般，在这个宁静的县城里那么自然地生活着，他们沿袭着祖先的风俗，遵照着最科学的规律休养生息。也许疲于奔命的我们应该要检讨一下自己的生活习惯了。

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  校园行勾起了我一些难忘的回忆，但我明白这些美好的记忆是用来回味的，而不是用来享受的。

I woke up in a morning and found I have some rash on my face right under my left eye. The rash is king of new thing to me. It looks in red color around the white centre and it's a bit aching when I press it with some strength. However, my incorrigible optimism has convinced me that I'll be alright, an in hence, I didn't take the rash as a very big deal and ultimately lead to delay of treatment.

2 days later on June 14th (Saturday), I decided to go to see the doctor went to Zhongshan Hospital with Joey and Wendy's company. Before I join in the long queue to register, I went to the service counter but told by the nurse that the dermatology department only functions in the morning. Then 3 of us walked in the pouring rain and went to another hospital, disappointingly, the dermatology department is out of the service hour.

Then we went to "Gu Yu Gai Gu", a chain restaurant serve delicious bone soup for hot pot. I didn't have good appetite and I started worry about the rash. We mainly talked about relationship and job hunting at that time. Wendy has a desire to get a new job in trading business and Joey has resigned from DHL and got several new offers. My plan is to quit my job at the end of this year and go to another city for my 2nd job.

The next morning on June 15th, I went to the Provincial People's Hospital and make a reservation for a dermatologist at 3PM. Without much ado, the doctor saw the rash and diagnosis that I got an infection by a microorganism due to poor immunity of my body. Then he prescribed some medicine to me and I felt very low due to his remark: This rash would stay in your body for a considerable period of time and it has a high recurrence rate. You should eat good food and rest more to make sure it won't recur on your face. What can I say???!!!

I'll exercise more and keep a good diet. Now I try to care less to make myself less guilty of choosing a d-a-m-n busy job, which is the root of all endless painful OT and terrible rash... I hate it.

From this experience, I am happy to find almost all of my friends are truly caring about me and worry about my well-beings. I wish you all healthy, happy and fulfilled. Once again it prove that family love and friendship is very important when you are in hard time.

When I turned my head and look around

I was in a crowd of familiar faces

I am injured and cried for help

Almost all came up and offer your hands

I appreciate that and I'm grateful to have you here, my friends

Meanwhile, I can't hold my disappointment to several people

Giving to some of the their cold reaction and and response, I learnt what selfish is

I won’t say it to your face, but you absolutely don't deserve my friendship!